NEW SONG: Dance Theodora!

Being a historian by profession and a guitarist by hobby, I just had to put music to this lyric, written by Sir Pent (aka Pentupboy) after he saw a documentary of the most famous Byzantine Empress on the History Channel. I regularly teach ancient Greco-Roman and Medieval history, so the basic outlines of the pious Christian Emperor Justinian’s wife were known to me. Of course, I imagine one day an LFA concept album full of history songs. That would be sure to sell well, no?

For those who don’t know Theodora (circa 500 – 548 C.E.)–the pagan, commoner, prostitute, actor who became the spouse of the famous and highly pious Christian Byzantine Emperor, Justinian–I simply refer you to Wikipedia, but the real fun is in the primary sources, especially the Secret History by Procopius of Caesarea. He probably made up most of the really scandalous stories about Theodora in a spiteful rage toward the end of his life after he had become disillusioned with Justinian and his entire regime. As with most ancient sources, we simply don’t have enough corroborating evidence to determine where fact ends and fiction begins.

This tune is, I suppose, power punk pop or something along those lines. I wanted something bouncy, but heavy at the same time–something decidedly decadent. The most exciting part for me was the double-time solo which I played in a scale I’d never played before, but which was–obviously–appropriate for this tune: A Byzantine. The rest of the tune is in good old A major.

Thanks to Chopper Newt for coming up with a great vocal track and accompanying guitar, lead guitar, and bass, and to Sir Pent for his skinpounding–and for writing the lyrics, of course!

As usual, download the song for free on our Reverbnation website:

Enjoy! And tell all your friends….


40 Responses to “NEW SONG: Dance Theodora!”

  1. Heck, I even went so far as to update the music player on the website so as to include the new songs!
    Yeah to me!!!

  2. Also, fans of LFA should check out Chopper Newt’s sub-culture podcast:

    It includes snippets of LFA music.

    • Snippets?

      But most importantly, does it include any mention of ME and my rocknroll genius?

      Obviously I have not listened to it. I listen when I’m in the mood. This is strictly a “when I’m in the mood” kind of thing.

      Now that we have so many songs, I think we need to book a show at the Filmore.

  3. We have a new fan on RN, a Russian prog rock composer. Damn cool stuff! Makes we want to compose a 20 minute rock epic.

  4. very cool.

    one of the guitar tracks reminds me of “Last Train”.

  5. I came within 5 bucks of winning a new sc10 on ebay, but was outbid. Probably a good thing. If a new stompbox showed up in the mail my wife might…. well, let’s not go there.

    • In other stupid gadget news: a guy on craigslist here is selling a reel-to-reel recorder with several boxes of unopened tape. Damn, I should buy that… but… let’s no go there, either.

  6. I shortened the time between the chorus and bridge, which was too drawn out, but I haven’t rerecorded anything. No time recently.

    And I didn’t think I was adding another verse to the end. There are no more lyrics, but we could have a short of concluding instrumental verse part there. Possibly I’ll have to rerecord the whole song.

    Anyway, I still need a working drum track for CY first….

  7. I have an idea for lyrics for a final verse.

    I just can’t help but think the “in my collection” hook is so fantastic that we have to bring it back before that last chorus.

    Will work on CY as soon as MIL is out of my basement.

    • At the conclusion to MC, I added a part that goes back to one verse, then concludes. It’s not bad. Will render out an mp3 and let you hear asap. Have to try not to overdo it, though.

      Insomnia radio hasn’t replied to my submission. All the other times someone replied quickly. So, perhaps I’ll try again. We should submit to Electrical Language again, too.

      Need to promote “Outside,” too. It’s not half bad–despite your relatives reviews. They just want cliched (read an accent aigue there) vocals. It might need a new mix, though. Think I have drums and vocals a bit too high in the mix.

  8. I don’t think Electrical Language is right for these new songs, but there are a couple I think might work. I also want to search for some new podcasts.

    As for the vocals on Outside, I sent it out to about 60 people (co-workers, family, friends, etc) and have received several replies with feedback. Every one of the replies mentions the vocals specifically. Some bad, a couple favorable and the rest trying to categorize what the vocals are like.

    • Oh, sheesh, a 60 person Geisert, inc. focus group for a little ditty I threw together?

      And it’s as I suspected: people don’t like the vocals because they don’t fit a radio-pop image of what vocals should be like. I’m like a new Bob Dylan, man, a new Johnny Cash–excpet that I don’t write lyrics, of course. It will takes years for the masses to appreciate my voice.

      I’d get a huge kick out of reading all those replies, if you have them on e-mail. Especially the ones trying to categorize me.

  9. I don’t keep them but I got 3 “Lou Reeds” and 2 “Robyn Hitchcocks”.

    • 60 becomes 5, I see. With yourself that’s a focus group of 6. You lie by a factor of 10.

      • OK jizz-monkey…if you READ, I wrote that I sent it out to 60 and got SEVERAL replies.
        ALL of those who replied specifically took effort to comment on the vocals.
        I also mentioned that there were favorable mentions of the vocals.

        Damn…you would’ve never made it in Art School during a critique…

  10. I get critiqued–by PhDs!–every time I submit a piece of writing to a journal or press–critiques so horrific that they’d turn your insides to jelly if you had to endure them, Pentboy. I just like to give you a hard time. You know, shit runs downhill, right?

    I’m still getting a kick out of the fact that you sent it to 60 people. I don’t even know 60 people’s e-mail addresses. I’m not sure I know 60 people.

  11. Gordon: I took no offense. Last Train was not a bad song. Godz, you should’ve witnessed the effort I went through to get it to sound the way I wanted. I think there are perhaps four different electric guitar tracks at the same time in that song. In addition to the acoustic. And it still doesn’t sound good, in terms of quality recording, of course. That whole recording session could’ve used… well, you know, a real studio.

  12. Do I have $130 to blow? No, but if I did I’d buy this little pedal just to make my new set up perfect:

    The only thing that little Vox amp is missing is reverb–and here’s the classic reverb for the “cheap”–sort of!

    By the time I get this, however, I might as well have bought a Fender Blues jr and had build-in reverb plus a 12″ speaker and 15 watts.

  13. Got it. Will send updated lyrics soon.
    Will try to work on CY this coming weekend.

  14. Just won an Ibanez sc10 on ebay for $29, which I think is less than what i paid for a new one in 1986 and other ones on ebay are going for buy it now prices between $70 and $100. I wonder if it even works?

  15. Probably about as well as my old drumset.

    • Will report when I receive it. I’m a little worried.

      In other guitar news, played a 1965 Princeton Reverb today at my friend Mark’s shop in Yellow Springs. It needs work, but he’s selling it for only $1080. Hoo ha!

  16. Les Paul, one of the greatest jazz guitarist ever. Now dead. Bye, Les.

    In yet other news, I just saw that WordPress has finally provided a widget for a new outside audio service: Soundcloud. I don’t think it’s quite as useful as RN, but it it does have a player that now works on WordPress. So I mosey over there and try to sign us up… lo! We already are signed up, like 10 months ago. Which one of you did it? And why didn’t anyone ever mention it?

    • Of course I fucking signed up for SoundCloud. Dude…I’m 5 steps and 10 months ahead of either of you.

      Actually, a couple of podcasts I got us on only accept submission through SoundCloud, so I set up an account.

  17. Doesn’t make sense…but I would guess the bottom line involves money somehow.

  18. I don’t understand Russian…but your opinion is important to us! Thanks for visiting and I hope you give our music a listen!!

    • Here’s the translation of the above passage (which I will now delete) courtesy Babelfish: “I, although the not permanent reader, nevertheless will express myself. It fell randomly on your [blog]. However, it learned much what new and interesting. So that, as the saying goes, [AFFTAR] ARE FOOT [ISCHO]!”

      Those crazy Russians. Bless them.

      • Why would you delete that? That was awesome!!


        Only because, assuming this was Russian spam, if we open the floodgates by approving the comments, we’ll probably get floods more from the same spammer. What’s the point?

        Although, I do think we need a song called AFFTAR ARE FOOT, ISCHO! Maybe a whole album.

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